The city is surrounded by mountains, so I had decided to give hiking a try. I'm from a flat state, so it was all new to me. For which I hope some deity will grant me a plea of "guilty by ignorance", since what sane region of the planet has near-hundred degree temperatures in April?So here I am, empty Arrowhead bottle in my hand, three quarters of the way up some feature dubbed "the Flatiron" by the local yokels, thirsty as hell, and there's a naked chick furiously masturbating in a pool of water.A pool. A naked chick.I've seen those old cartoons where Daffy Duck treads the desert, sees a beautiful pondful of refreshing water, and leaps into it, getting a mouthful of sand in the bargain. I've seen those cartoons, and I ain't playing. I may be ignorant of the desert ways, and stupid for not checking the temperature, but one thing I am not is gullible. And there is no pool at the top of this mountain, and no cutie getting her jollies in it, and she is not looking at me right now with a. We both get very excited about going to our local department store to hunt for new additions to Allen's wardrobe. Last night we had one such shopping trip and we both had a luscious time."Grab a buggy," said Allen when we entered the store. "I plan to load up tonight." I bet you do," I said and winked at Allen. Allen is six feet tall and built rock solid from head to toe. His skin is tanned deep brown from hours spent cruising beneath the sun on his Harley Davidson cycle. He's not the type of guy you'd expect to see sorting through the sales racks at the Allmart ladies department.But, there we were in the clearance racks filled with off-season garments. "Oooooh, look at this," said Allen, holding a pink pastel dress against his massive chest."Looks like it'd be a tight squeeze," I said. "But you know I love you in pink."A middle-aged woman shopping nearby overheard my comment to Allen and flashed us a disapproving scowl. Allen and I just giggled. We're used to the stares by now and.
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